so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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