I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
