I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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