i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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