You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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