Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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