You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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