Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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