you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
