You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Your penis caused this!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
