I can't watch pbs sober anymore
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
