she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
