so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
