She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
