do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
