i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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