I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize