Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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