your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
