I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
