He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize