Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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