saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
