i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
