So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
