God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
