CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
