that's an acceptable place to lick
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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