I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
