They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
