He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
