Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
