You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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