So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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