Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
