i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I've blown a few things in my day
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
