I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
They took my balls.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
