If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
