I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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