considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
