My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
