He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
