girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
