but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just want nice things and good sex
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
