You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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