Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
