dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
