Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
