You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
