you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
