Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
