I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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