Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
