Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
