this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize