so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
