CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
